1. Check your phone
Scroll through Instagram and reply to that DM you received, from that hottie you totally weren’t eyeing at a party
2. Listen to Radio Indigo
Hear Joed, talk about how there’s a massive traffic jam at the Cortalim junction and how you should avoid it, OOPS!!
3. Chat with the traffic police officer
Ask the traffic police why there’s a traffic jam yet AGAIN. Don’t forget to begin your sentence with Patrao or Bab!
4. Pray to not get covered by a landslide or be crushed by a bridge falling
Look at the uneven mountain of loose soil/ cracks in the bridge and think about what your last wishes are.
5. Get out of your vehicle and ask around what’s wrong
Ask the person with the vehicle at the side, ‘Patrao, kite zala?’
6. Snapchat being stuck in a traffic jam
Send out that infamous, ‘Stuck in the Cortalim traffic jam’ snap. Don’t forget to use a cute filter.
7. Enjoy the bumpy ride
Finally, enjoy the bumpy ride full of potholes and craters so you won’t ever have to wonder what driving on mars would be like.
Note from the editor: You didn’t choose the Ponda route, your loss!